Honestly, I was surprised about how I felt. But overall I’m glad about what happened and what put me in the feeling.
I spent most of my shift doing some serious real talk. It’s my shit talking, but I don’t consider it “shit” because everything I say are/were true facts.
David and I were just not on good terms at all. If you mentioned my name he would get wound up. He would talk to our mutual friend only when I wasn’t there. But in general we avoided each other after I was like “No, I don’t want to hang out — just don’t ask me if you’re going to bail.”
The guy hurt my feelings and was just being rude. Then called me rude for making him work for my attention and we were all around dumb.
Anyway another coworker gave me a rose for V-Day (how cute right?) and I went looking for him (he actually left before I could thank him!).
David was surprisingly doing the late stuff of the night and when I spoke with him for the first time in at least two weeks, he was polite. Assuming this was the only chance I’d be alone with him (and in a good mood) I just told him I liked it when he was nice to me.
Plain and simple. Then I told him the reason I got upset with him was because I genuinely liked him.
I don’t care what people say. I don’t regret admitting to him that I liked him. I always dreaded these kinds of moments. I rarely had crushes and I never did anything about it. But I felt really fucking good.
He didn’t even say he reciprocated the feelings. He just smiled a little and asked if we could be friends again, hugs, and hangs etc. But maybe I’m just a sucker for a baby face.
My point is don’t suppress your feelings. Just admit it to yourself and even let them know. I don’t care we’re both going in different directions. I’m switching shifts in March and he’s leaving for boot camp in April. We could have fun for a month or two (if he makes a move of course).
The point is you will feel better. I feel better, but I really hope we can be friends (and mack just a little bit :P).
